Samenvatting

The author is a young officer, recently graduated from the NLDA, whose convoy was struck by a suicide attack in Afghanistan. Jessica van Hees describes the attack and its aftermath, her reactions and the emotions that overcame her during and particularly after the events. She describes the formalist reaction of her (mostly German) superiors and the deterioration of communication within the international unit she was working with. She concludes that staying on, and facing other threats, allowed her to give the attack its place while still being over there, before learning to cope at home